Writing Roundup: Movie Reviews, a Q&A, and a New Theory

If I never do anything else worthwhile with my life, at least I can say I invented the Unified Theory of Jessica Alba. Put that on my gravestone, please.

I don't know where or how the idea struck, but it hit like a lightning bolt while reviewing the average but mostly forgettable Fantastic Four (2005) for The After Movie Diner. Before I knew it, I'd formulated the entire theory. Based on an extensive use of the scientific method (i.e., watching movies), it maintains that there are five factors, or aspects, of any Jessica Alba performance that, inexplicably, combine to form something something...well, something. I won't spoil the rest for you; go read the review and find out.

And then read my latest review of another film that also happens to star Alba, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For. I really enjoyed the first Sin City and I thought the sequel was a worthy followup. It's not as good as the first, but together they're a fun blast of comic book neo-noir silliness. And they provide further proof that the Unified Theory of Jessica Alba is really a thing! That's got to count for something.

A while back I also reviewed a much darker film, Rolling Thunder. This is a nasty, post-Vietman '70s grindhouse classic. Think a less artistic Taxi Driver meets Death Wish. Its tone and style are brutal and laced with dread. Also worth noting that, in a supporting role, young Tommy Lee Jones is electrifying as a live-wire vet just itching to get back into combat. It's nice to remember how great he was back then after having recently rewatched his gonzo (and not in a good way) performance as Two-Face in Batman Forever.

Lastly, I had the extreme pleasure of chatting with Jon Morris for Sequart about his new book, The Legion of Regrettable Supervillains. Jon runs one of the oldest comic book blogs on the Interwebs, Gone & Forgotten. This book and his last one (focusing on regrettable superheroes) are like his blog only in book form, with more of the same funny and intelligent commentary you've come to expect from Jon.

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All I Want For Christmas: Phoebe Cates's Monologue in Gremlins

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Misspent Youth: Randi Brooks

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Margot Kidder and the Childhood Crush That Will Never Die

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Double Feature: Michelle Pfieffer and Al Pacino

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