Words Seem Out Of Place

As everyone knows, jump scares and subversive fun make Christmas infinitely better. Watching movies like Black Christmas , Krampus , and Christmas Evil this time of year is a favorite custom of misanthropic scrooges everywhere. Hey, I like Christmas just fine, but I like it even more when you ratchet up the body count. Calm down, I mean  fictional body count, yeesh! "I saw Mommy being naughty with Santa Claus " : In  Christmas Evil , Santa skips the cookies and milk but still eats out, if you know what I mean. And yes, I just channeled my inner R-rated Joe Bob Briggs commentary with this caption. #sorrynotsorry So, in the spirit of Our Lady and Savior Cassandra Peterson, AKA Elvira Mistress of the Dark , I'm wishing you a very scary Christmas season. Here's where I could make the obvious joke about unwrapping Elvira for Christmas, but nope, I'm keeping it classy. There probably won't be any new content here over the next week o...

Let me start by admitting that, while I have an appreciation for fashion, I'm in no way an expert. What follows, then, is one layman's attempt to highlight how fabulous Michelle Pfeiffer's style is, both onscreen and in that thing we call real life. This isn't a comprehensive look back at her fashion evolution, nor will it describe "who" she's wearing, so please, fashion bloggers, don't hurt me. Did you know that for a hot minute at the start of her career, Pfeiffer managed to out-Daisy Duke Daisy Duke ? This was a promo shot from the truly lousy and mercifully short-lived series B.A.D. Cats . Remember, her early gigs were usually as eye candy ( see also: Delta House ). Here, she's basically late-'70s, early '80s sunshine personified. She's positively glowing, with her early-career signature cascading locks bouncing every so perfectly over her shoulders. This is not a look we usually associate with La Pfeiffer, but is anyone rea...

Joe Dante's 1980s classic Gremlins will always be a subversive Christmas favorite. From Spike exploding in the microwave to Mrs. Daigle's "stairlift to hell", the movie is packed with deliciously transgressive moments that turn the holly jolly season right on its ear. None are more memorable, though, than Phoebe Cates delivering her legendary "worst thing that ever happened to me on Christmas" monologue. It's a jaw-dropping, tour-de-force moment, a truly horrific story that's also one of the most darkly comic moments in Christmas movie history. Cates really shines during this scene. There's no denying just how seminal that scene of hers in Fast Times at Ridgemont High was for a generation of young people, but her speech in Gremlins is equally important and a wonderful showcase for her serious and comedic acting skills.  Here's the speech, in its entirety. No Christmas season is complete without at least one viewing ...

This series looks back at the 1990s and its influence on the generation of people who came of age during the decade. My cinematic obsession began as a teenager in the 1990s, which coincided with the Golden Age of the erotic thriller—which was often also the neo-noir erotic thriller. It started in the late 1980s and peaked in the early to mid-'90s. Movies like Fatal Attraction (1987),  Sea of Love  (1989),  Body of Evidence (1993), Romeo Is Bleeding (1993), and Malice (1993), to name a few, flooded theaters with a provocative mix of oversexed men and women doing really terrible things for money. Certainly, Sharon Stone starred in two of the most popular erotic thrillers of that time, Basic Instinct  (1992) and Sliver (1993), but when I look back today, one actor seems most symbolic of this era: Linda Fiorentino. Her performances in movies like Chain of Desire (1992 and pictured above),  The Last Seductio n (1994), Bodily Harm (...