Words Seem Out Of Place

As everyone knows, jump scares and subversive fun make Christmas infinitely better. Watching movies like Black Christmas , Krampus , and Christmas Evil this time of year is a favorite custom of misanthropic scrooges everywhere. Hey, I like Christmas just fine, but I like it even more when you ratchet up the body count. Calm down, I mean  fictional body count, yeesh! "I saw Mommy being naughty with Santa Claus " : In  Christmas Evil , Santa skips the cookies and milk but still eats out, if you know what I mean. And yes, I just channeled my inner R-rated Joe Bob Briggs commentary with this caption. #sorrynotsorry So, in the spirit of Our Lady and Savior Cassandra Peterson, AKA Elvira Mistress of the Dark , I'm wishing you a very scary Christmas season. Here's where I could make the obvious joke about unwrapping Elvira for Christmas, but nope, I'm keeping it classy. There probably won't be any new content here over the next week o...

Ranking my top five Catwoman performances in film and television. Click here  for the previous entry in the Catwomen rankings. 1. Michelle Pfeiffer,  Batman Returns  (1992) As a young girl, I was completely obsessed with Catwoman. When I heard that Tim was making the film and Catwoman had already been cast, I was devastated," says Pfeiffer. “At the time, it was Annette Bening. Then she became pregnant. The rest is history. I remember telling Tim halfway through the script that I'd do the film, that's how excited I was. That's Michelle Pfeiffer, discussing her momentous turn as Catwoman in Tim Burton's Batman Returns (1992), from a 2017 interview with The Hollywood Reporter. It's important to remember, we were this close to never having Michelle’s transcendent performance .  Annette Benning was cast and about to begin filming when she found out she was pregnant. After she dropped out, Pfeiffer squeezed into the black latex  and the ...

My short answer to that headline? No. I'm not slighting Margot Robbie, though. I happen to think she's extremely talented, unfairly underrated, and a fine actress. It's just that, as we all know, there is only one Michelle Pfeiffer. Libby Gelman Waxner (aka Paul Rudnick) said it best: Michelle Pfeiffer is what God had in mind for humanity before the blueprints got all smudged in the glove compartment. So, when Nylon recently made a case for Margot Robbie being this generation's Michelle Pfeiffer , some folks on the internet screamed, "Hell no!" Read Hayden Manders's article, then come on back for my thoughts. Some Twitter reactionaries seemed to think Nylon meant that Robbie was usurping Pfeiffer . That's not the message I took from it, though. By "this generation" I think they mean the millennial generation. Robbie is a millennial, after all. Pfeiffer is technically a Boomer, but her birth year (1958) falls towards the tail...