If I never do anything else worthwhile with my life, at least I can say I invented the Unified Theory of Jessica Alba. Put that on my gravestone, please. I don't know where or how the idea struck, but it hit like a lightning bolt while reviewing the average but mostly forgettable Fantastic Four (2005) for The After Movie Diner. Before I knew it, I'd formulated the entire theory. Based on an extensive use of the scientific method (i.e., watching movies), it maintains that there are five factors, or aspects, of any Jessica Alba performance that, inexplicably, combine to form something something...well, something. I won't spoil the rest for you; go read the review and find out. And then read my latest review of another film that also happens to star Alba, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For . I really enjoyed the first Sin City and I thought the sequel was a worthy followup. It's not as good as the first, but together they're a fun blast of comic book neo-noi...
we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars