All I Want for Christmas: Less Elf on the Shelf, more Elvira under the tree

As everyone knows, jump scares and subversive fun make Christmas infinitely better. Watching movies like Black Christmas, Krampus, and Christmas Evil this time of year is a favorite custom of misanthropic scrooges everywhere. Hey, I like Christmas just fine, but I like it even more when you ratchet up the body count. Calm down, I mean fictional body count, yeesh!

"I saw Mommy being naughty with Santa Claus": In Christmas Evil, Santa skips the cookies and milk but still eats out, if you know what I mean. And yes, I just channeled my inner R-rated Joe Bob Briggs commentary with this caption. #sorrynotsorry

So, in the spirit of Our Lady and Savior Cassandra Peterson, AKA Elvira Mistress of the Dark, I'm wishing you a very scary Christmas season.

Here's where I could make the obvious joke about unwrapping Elvira for Christmas, but nope, I'm keeping it classy.

There probably won't be any new content here over the next week or two, as I take some much-needed time off to recharge my batteries. Parts of 2018 have been stressful, personally and professionally, so a little R&R is definitely in order.

Shane Black's Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is just about the perfect Christmas movie ever, for my tastes.

Besides enjoying time with family and friends, that means lots of comfort food movies for me, including holiday favorites like Batman Returns, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and Gremlins, to name a few.

The Christmas horror! The Christmas horror!

Heck, maybe I'll throw in Elvira Mistress of the Dark for the umpteenth time also, because few movies cheer me up more than that one. Ms. Peterson makes me smile and forget my worries, every single time. And I don't know about you, but I think this holiday needs less elf on the shelf and more Elvira under the tree, amirite?

A scary Christmas to all, and to all a good fright.

Happy holidays, and thanks for reading what I wrote this year. Here's to new beginnings in 2019.

Comments

Paul SDecember 23, 2018 at 7:12 AM
Elvira under the Christmas tree! Ohhhh… too much sensory excitement.
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