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All I Want for Christmas: Top Five Christmas Films


Subversive Christmas films are the best kind of Christmas films. I appreciate when films offer commentary and insight on the season's often-nauseating cheer and crass commercialism, revealing the darker side of it all, the stuff most of us want to ignore this time of year. So in the spirit of the season, here's my top five Christmas films, each of which resides a little left of center. And it should surprise absolutely no one that my top yuletide season flick stars—drum roll, please—Michelle Pfeiffer. As always, this list is subject to change slightly, annually. Please, share your lists below, and we can argue about movies as if we were drunk relatives at the Christmas table screaming about politics. Hey, can you pass the eggnog?

1. Batman Returns (1992)


Michelle Pfeiffer. ‘nuff said, but I’ll say more. As Selina Kyle/Catwoman, she has the film’s most complete character arc, a personal growth journey that begins with Selina as a meek, put-upon, frightened little mouse, only to see her transform into a Ferocious Feline Force for the Resistance. Christmas movies love the “personal growth journey” narrative, and few have ever been better handled than Selina’s in this pfilm. Plus, it features a cool Christmastime masquerade ball, where Pfeiffer as Selina and Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne slow-dance and talk, in a scene so moving it makes your heart explode. It also proves once again that there will never be a better Selina/Catwoman or Bruce/Batman on screen. There, I said it.

2. Black Christmas (1974)


This one sits at the top the slasher movie throne, alongside the film it greatly inspired, ‪John Carpenter’s original Halloween. A ‪pitch-perfect horror film, set during Christmastime, at a college sorority house where a killer has snuck in and is hiding up in the attic. Then the increasingly aggressive, horrifically graphic, and completely deranged prank calls begin. You can imagine what happens next. Olivia Hussey as Jess is All-Time, Numero Uno Final Girl (or at least tied with Heather Langenkamp and Jamie Lee Curtis); it offers one of the most progressive, pro-choice, pro-women depictions of the topic of abortion ever put on film (and remember, this was made in 1974!); pre-Lois Lane Margot Kidder is a riot and helps dial up the film’s subversive, black humor quotient to eleven; and John Saxon and Keir Dullea are also outstanding. Just be warned: once you see it, you’ll forever hear Billy the killer screaming vulgarities in your ear. Joy to the world!

3. Eyes Wide Shut (1999)


Kubrick’s final film. What a way to go out. This one’s only grown in stature over two decades. Another Christmas film with a narrative built around a personal growth journey: Dr. Bill (Tom Cruise), angry and confused, descending into New York’s naughty netherworld, after an unsettling discussion with wife Alice (Nicole Kidman). The meta nature of it all—remember kids, Cruise and Kidman were Hollywood’s royal couple back then—only adds to the intensity. Also features another cool Christmastime masquerade ball (I’m a sucker for those in films), only this one’s a bit freakier and with far more people wearing only their birthday suits.

4. Ordinary People (1980)


A close cousin to ‪The Ice Storm (1997)—easily a top five Thanksgiving film—this is one of the most devastating holiday films you’ll ever watch. Christmas is the backdrop against which a seemingly perfect suburban Chicago family completely buckles and crumbles to pieces. Talk about subversive, the entire film is about subjects the family values crowd wants to suppress or pretend don’t exist, like death, grief, depression, suicide, and the impact of them all on an already-broken family. Phenomenal cast too, including Timothy Hutton, Mary Tyler Moore, Donald Sutherland, and Judd Hirsch.

5. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)


Director Shane Black sets so many of his films at Christmas that I half expect to find out he’s part reindeer. This is one of the best buddy comedy films ever made. Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer are like peanut butter and chocolate together. Their chemistry is so far off the charts you can’t even see the charts in the distance anymore. They’re just on fire, riffing off each other’s manic energy left and right. The rare film that perfectly captures how shared sarcasm is often at the heart of so many great male partnerships.

Honorable mentions: White Christmas (Danny Kaye!), Scrooged (Karen Allen! David Johansen!), Silent Night, Deadly Night (Ax-wielding killer Santa!), Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 (“Garbage Day!”), ‪The Ice Harvest (Underrated John Cusack heist-comedy exposes how utterly depressing Christmas can be), National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (“Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?”).
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  1. Paul SDecember 19, 2017 at 12:46 PM

    I think the next week or so might be a good time for a début viewing of Black Christmas.
    Great list. Off the top of my head my favourite subversive Christmas film would be Wake in Fright!

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    1. Words Seem Out of PlaceDecember 20, 2017 at 6:13 AM

      Paul, let me know what you think of Black Christmas. I love it, as you can tell, so I'm definitely curious for your take on it. And I have yet to see Wake in Fright, so I'll be adding that to my list.

      Delete
  2. AnonymousJanuary 9, 2018 at 6:06 PM

    I think watching scary movies on Christmas may be a great idea! I tend to get too sentimental and this would pull down my mood. . . I liked "In Bruges," but not sure if there is any holiday moments. On the other hand, my youngest daughter (age 32) and I like to watch, "Love Actually." 🎄🎆✨

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Words Seem Out of PlaceJanuary 16, 2018 at 11:51 AM

      Love Actually is definitely a holiday staple, although I may have seen too many times when I was younger and need a bit of a break from it now. Scary movies at Christmastime are indeed a wonderful way to celebrate the season. I can't recommend the original Black Christmas enough.

      Delete

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