Dolores O'Riordan, 1971

Dolores O'Riordan, 1971–2018

Our pasts are littered with so many obsessions, the kind formed by the passion of youth, some of which stick around, many of which fade over time. Growing up in the Last Golden Age of Rock (i.e., the 1990s), many of my generation's obsessions revolved around music. Some have remained in our hearts forever after, while others drift away. Even those that fade, though, still reside in our hearts—all it takes is hearing a song out of the blue one day, then all of those youthful feelings of loving devotion rush back to the forefront of our hearts and minds.

This happened to me a few weeks ago when I heard "Dreams" and "Zombie" on the radio in a matter of days. Suddenly, I was remembering how that teenage version of myself once bought each of the Cranberries' '90s albums as they were released, played them to death, and, as my mother reminded me yesterday, even had a poster of the band on my bedroom wall.

Dolores O'Riordan, who passed away over the weekend at only 46 years of age, was the seminal component of my love for the Cranberries. Certainly, their music moved me—that chiming guitars of "Dreams" are breathtaking—but it was O'Riordan's voice that hooked me. Soft and ethereal one moment, strong and ferocious the next, it was as much a musical instrument as any guitar or drums. Singing in her natural Irish brogue, O'Riordan was both intimately vulnerable and powerfully defiant. Simply put, she sang unlike anyone else in popular music back then, and even today there aren't many like her.

1994 was the breakout year for the Cranberries, with three songs in constant rotation on modern rock radio—"Linger," "Dreams," and "Zombie." Each showcased O'Riordan's range of talents—in "Dreams" she was a soulful, calming presence; in "Zombie" she was pure, unleashed politically charged fury. I adored O'Riordan during this time. I used to stare at that poster on my bedroom wall—at her—with awe. Yes, of course, I had a crush on her—who didn't?—but it was so much more than that. Her singing and songwriting spoke to me like few others before or since. "Dreams" is too easily relatable for any teenager or young adult facing life's open-ended sea of possibilities—"Oh my life is changing everyday / In every possible way"—while also learning of the crushing reality of disappointment—'And oh my dreams / It's never quite as it seems / Never quite as it seems."

The sheer amount of loss my generation has faced over the last few years is almost unbearable. Our pop culture heroes are falling, one after another, many at young ages: Prince, Chris Cornell, Carrie Fisher, Tom Petty, David Bowie, O'Riordan, and more. It's been a relentless assault on our youthful devotions to artists who helped shape the people we grew up to be. All we can do is appreciate them while we have them, thank them for all they've given us, and then let the music they made carry us through the rest of our lives, even if they aren't here themselves to guide us anymore.

I'll be playing "Dreams" on repeat today, remembering how much O'Riordan's vocals and lyrics meant to me then, and honoring how much her songs still mean to me today.

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Paul SJanuary 17, 2018 at 12:52 PM
I feel sad we've lost another great talent. I hope you're singing with the angels Delores, you'll be greatly missed.
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