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Scream Queens of Halloween: Linnea Quigley


Celebrating Scream Queens that make the Halloween season the most wonderful time of year.

In many ways, Linnea Quigley is the ultimate Scream Queen. A pint-sized bundle of pure punk rock spirit, Quigley has starred in countless horror and exploitation classics: The Return of the Living Dead: Silent Night, Deadly Night; Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama: Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers: Night of the Demons; Creepozoids; Nightmare Sisters...get the point?


Many of these cult classics are from the 1980s and early 1990s, when Quigley first shot to fame within the B-movie world. She was everywhere back then, at least if you were a horror-loving kid like myself. She seemed to pop up in every other splatter flick I watched on USA Up All Night or rented from the video store during those days. Whenever she joined host Rhonda Shear on set, it was like the horror gods had answered our heathen prayers.


Explosive sex appeal, hilariously deadpan Valley Girl-esque charm, and a willingness to rip her top off at a moment's notice combine to make Quigley the legend we know and love. Trash the punk nympho in The Return of the Living Dead is as excellent a distillation of everything that makes the actress so appealing. Sex appeal? Check. Have you seen her topless dance routine on top of a tombstone in the middle of a graveyard? Deadpan line readings? Check. The demented and nihilistic Trash has some of the best lines in 1980s horror, and Quigley delivers them with gusto.

"I like death."

"Do you ever fantasize about being killed?"

"I like it! It's a statement."


My personal favorite role of hers is another punk rock chick, Spider, from the all-time great cult classics, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (which I reviewed here.) Spider broke into the mall to steal a few things (that's how she rolls) when a magical, wise-cracking imp named—wait for it—Uncle Impie traps her there with a bunch rejects from Revenge of the Nerds and the titular and bodacious sorority babes (including fellow Scream Queens Michelle Bauer and Brinke Stevens). Hilarity and horror ensue, and Quigley is the glue that holds it all together. Uttering one of my favorite lines by anyone ever, "What is this, Midnight Wimp Bowling League?" Spider is the ultimate badass. Quigley keeps her top on throughout, proving that she can still do her best work while clothed. She's that versatile.


Speaking of flexibility, Quigley's legend was further solidified when she showed off that flexibility in one of the cornerstone documents of its era, Linnea Quigley's Horror Workout. I can say with great certainty that many a teenager rented this tape with absolutely zero intention of ever doing the workouts. The beloved VHS tape (which really deserves a Director's Cut Blu-ray release, dammit) is some sort of unholy combination of genres, including aerobics, zombies, slashers, and whatever you call the genre where Linnea Quigley dramatically soaps herself up in the shower during the opening credits. It's basically the Citizen Kane of shower scenes. Sorry, Psycho.


With tongue planted firmly in cheek, Linnea shows how she maintains that bodacious body. Clever wordplay abounds as Linnea instructs viewers on the, uh, ins and outs of aerobics:

 “This one increases your ability to keep your legs in the air… I can do this one for hours!”

“This one is great for the guys… I mean thighs!”

“That’s right stretch those muscles… not that muscle!”

“Deep breathing will increase lung capacity… as you can see I’m a real… deep… breather.”


Quigley was so good in so many all-time B-movie classics. In Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (I reviewed that one, too) she performs the first and last dance of the double chainsaws in cinema history, all while being her usual patented combo of adorably funny and sexy as hell.


In Night of the Demons, a fantastically trashy masterpiece (trashterpiece?), Quigley has some cheeky good fun with the gratuitous objectification—even ripping her shirt open again, in a scene that rivals her seminal shirt-ripping moment in Return of the Living Dead. Quigley steals every scene she's in, whether at the beginning as the airhead who can't stop applying her makeup "for the boys," or later when she's fully transformed into demonic hell-spawn mode.


She meets a memorably gruesome end—also while topless—in the controversial Christmas horror classic Silent Night, Deadly Night. In Creepozoids she reminds of us of her versatility again by pulling her shirt off over her head, instead of just ripping it open. The effect on teen audiences, of course, remained the same.


I could go on, In her prime, Linnea Quigley deserved to be considered the #1 Scream Queen in America. Many a teenager became a die-hard fan thanks to her "anything goes" approach to being a B-movie Queen. She's a pro, with as good a scream face as anyone in the business, and always seems entirely in on the jokes in her films, which only makes her more lovable to a fanbase that's already rabid about her. Horror fans are a loyal lot, and few legends of the genre have ever engendered more loyalty than Quigley. Long may she thrive, topless or otherwise.





















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  1. MichaelWDenneyOctober 31, 2019 at 10:31 PM

    Just met Linnea this weekend at a horror convention. She was very sweet and is still just as fun loving.

    ReplyDelete

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