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Girl, You Have No Faith in Medicine, Vol. 2: Somebody Get Me a Doctor


Previously I looked at some favorite nurses from pop culture. This time out we'll focus on some memorable film and television doctors. Some are great at their jobs, some, not so much, but all are entertaining. When it comes to pop culture, that's what counts more than medical degrees or bedside manners.

This isn't a comprehensive list of television and film doctors. Not even close. These are just a few that I love best. Let me know your favorites in the comments!

Dr. Dan Challis, Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
Dr. Dan always travel light: just a change of clothes, a toothbrush, and a female companion young enough to be his daughter.

There are several reasons why Dr. Dan is both a legend and a legendary stud. First, he's played by genre film stud Tom Atkins. He's also clearly more preoccupied with booze and babes than with his medical career. I wouldn't doubt he's buzzed on the job, and he's clearly taken an extracurricular interest in certain female colleagues at the hospital. Sure, he's married with kids, but he's not letting that situation cut into his scoring opportunities.

Dr. Dan: "Sure, let's take a trip to the mask factory to investigate. You might want to pack your sexiest lingerie."

Ellie: "Um...uh...okay?"

So it's no surprise when he jaunts off on an impromptu road trip with nubile Ellie Grimbridge (Stacey Nelkin), ostensibly to save America's children from gruesome death at the hands of killer Halloween masks manufacture at the Silver Shamrock factory—there's so much more, and it gets even weirder, because Halloween III is one of the most entertainingly bizarre horror films you'll ever see. It's status as a cult classic seems secure these days, as it should be. I absolutely love this movie.

In their first night in a motel, Dr. Dan uses his devil-may-care charm on Ellie, starting with this hilarious exchange:

Dr. Dan: Maybe I ought to get another room.
Ellie: That would look sort of suspicious, wouldn't it?
Dr. Dan: What I mean is, if it'd make you more comfortable... I can sleep in the car - be a lot better than this floor, anyway.
Ellie: Where do you want to sleep, Dr. Challis?
Dr. Dan: [Staring at her] That's a dumb question, Miss Grimbridge.

Dr. Dan is one smooth operator.

The soft, warm glow of Dr. Dan's mood lighting.

I'll hand it to him, though, when he's not macking on the ladies or nursing a scotch, he's genuinely trying to save children on Halloween. The film's ending is one of Atkins' finest moments, with Dr. Dan on the phone imploring the television station to stop the Silver Shamrock commercial immediately. The movie abruptly ends on a tight closeup of Atkins' distraught face as he screams, over and over again, "Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!" It's about as bleak as endings get. Poor Dr. Dan.

N'Bushe Wright: Dr. Karen Jenson, Blade (1998)

Don't mess with Dr. Jenson, if you know what's good for you.

Both a brilliant hematologist and a courageous fighter, Blade's Dr. Jenson uses her high IQ to develop a cure for vampirism after she's bitten by a vamp. Dr. J is the rare breed who can beat you with either her mind or her body. She gets attacked and kidnapped over the course of the film, but she isn't some helpless, brainy MD in need of saving by Wesley Snipes's vampire hunter Blade. She's the kind of supporting player you want to see elevated to a lead role in her own film, and its a shame N'Bushe Wright never got that chance again because she more than delivered the goods here. At least we'll always have this fantastic performance to revisit.

Dynamic Duo: Snipes and Wright.

Blade is terrific, and while it was unfairly ignored for a while, twenty years on it's starting to receive rightful credit as Marvel's first black superhero film. Some of that praise should also be lavished on Wright as Dr. Jenson. She deserves to be included in any list of kick-ass female leads in genre films.

Leslie Nielsen: Dr. Rumack, Airplane! (1980)

Dr. Rumack would like to know if you had the fish for dinner.

Almost every one of Dr. Rumack's lines is a classic:

"I want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you."

"I am serious...and don't call me Shirley."

Nielsen, Julie Hagerty and the rest of the cast are in peak comedic form.

"I haven't seen anything like this since the Anita Bryant concert."

"But the other two pilots... they're just fine. They're at the controls flying the plane... free to pursue a life of religious fulfillment."

The Rumack Four, performing one night only, up high in the friendly sky.

Nielsen is beyond hilarious as the deadpan doctor and Airplane! remains one of the funniest films in motion picture history.

And, thank goodness Rumack had the lasagna.

Just when you think you've seen it all in your medical career.

Helena Bonham Carter: Dr. Julia Hoffman, Dark Shadows (2012)

Dr. Julia is the only therapist I know who allows co-payment in the form of booze or pills.

I recently extolled the virtues of Helena Bonham Carter's performance as a perpetually sloshed psychiatrist with some, um, unusual counseling methods, so I'll just add this: Bonham Carter chews the scenery with great tenacity, making Dr. Julia an absolute pleasure to spend time with.

I live for Dr. Julia GIFs.

Dr. Samuel Loomis, the Halloween films

Deep thoughts with Dr. Loomis.

Earlier, we discussed Dr. Dan from Halloween III, but no list of favorite film docs is complete without including great Dr. Sam Loomis. Played by Donald Pleasance with a wildly fluctuating manic depressive energy in the first, second, fourth, fifth, and sixth Halloween films (we will not be discussing Rob Zombie's reboots here, but last year I did rank every Halloween film to date), Dr. Loomis is the constant for much of the venerable horror franchise.

There's Pleasance in his tattered and billowing trench coat, film after film, hustling after everyone's favorite supernatural serial killer Michael Myers. Loomis is almost supernatural himself, somehow surviving a hospital explosion at the end of Halloween II that should have incinerated him. His dogged pursuit of Michael is inspiring and a little terrifying. He's the franchise's ultimate tragic character, destined to spend his life chasing the child he couldn't save in the past from slaughtering a new generation of victims that Loomis can't save in the present. An utterly, unrelentingly tragic existence.

He's not going to sugarcoat it for you, Sherfiff.

Loomis's famous monologue in Halloween (1978) is one of the defining moments not only for the franchise but for all of horror cinema. It tells you all you need to know about Loomis, his dedication, his despair, and John Carpenter's legendary score only adds to the sorrowful, helpless tone of the speech. It's Pleasance at his very best.



Gillian Anderson: Dr. Dana Scully, The X-Files

The truth is out there, and it's name is Dr. Dana Scully.

Dr. Dana Scully was recruited by the FBI while still in medical school at Stanford. Her senior thesis was titled, "Einstein's Twin Paradox: A New Interpretation." Yeah, she's wicked smart. She's also a skeptic and a cynic, and her cerebral cool is consistently awesome.

Damn straight.

Even though I've never been a huge X-Files watcher (gasp!), I've always enjoyed Scully, and admired Gillian Anderson's portrayal. Hell, she's responsible for the “Scully Effect”— which observed an influx of women pursuing STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) thanks to her impact on the popular culture.

Clearly, fans love her. The simple truth is, she's a great, richly nuanced character who deserves her place in the pantheon, thanks in large part to Anderson's fantastic work with the role.

Fans always have a light for Scully.

We want to believe. No, not in aliens (although we might want that, too), but in Dana Scully, and Anderson has made that extremely easy for more than two decades now.

We'd follow her anywhere.
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Comments

  1. Paul SMay 29, 2018 at 9:24 AM

    Another great selection, I especially enjoyed the humour you brought to your Dr Dan segment. Leslie Nielsen's Rumack always cracks me up, sure I know exactly what's coming but I still laugh every single time, and even though I've never seen a Halloween film I do know Donald Pleasence is always eminently watchable. His disgraced, alcoholic Doc Tydon in Wake in Fright is one his finest creations, one that has stayed with me for years!

    Going slight off topic there is an upcoming blogathon I thought you might find interesting. Just click on the link and see what you think.

    https://silverscreenings.org/2018/05/09/announcing-the-reel-infatuation-blogathon-2018/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Words Seem Out of PlaceJune 3, 2018 at 5:52 PM

      Ooh that blogathon sounds fun. I can think of a Pfeiffer character or two I could write about. I'll see what I can do!

      Delete

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