Capsule Reviews: <i>Splatter University</i>

Capsule Reviews: Splatter University

Quick-hit movie reviews for the masses.

Slasher University is definitely one of the dopier slashers of its era, but there's still enjoyment to be had reveling in its endearing amateurism. It feels like a student film padded out to feature length. In fact, 65 minutes of it were filmed in 1981 by director Richard W. Haines, with additional scenes shot the next year to bump it up to a brisk 78 minute running time, then sat on the shelf for several years before Troma Entertainment unleashed into an uncaring world in 1984. As often happens with films like this, though, it eventually turned into a word-of-mouth underground classic.

The plot, paper-thin as it is, involves a string of gruesome murders on a non-specified but totally Catholic college campus, and one plucky new teacher's quest to unearth the identity of the mystery killer - which is so hard to do because everyone on the faculty is acting suspiciously, especially the priests. In between death scenes, we're treated to a preponderance of hilariously stupid scenes featuring the unlikable teenage victims-to-be horsing around; talking about studying, cheating on tests, and selling dope; making out, lounging around in their panties; and trash-talking the teachers. Normal teenage stuff, then.

The starring role of young and naive new teacher Francine Parker was played by Francine Forbes. She went on become Forbes Riley, a highly successful infomercial host with a gleaming, toothsome smile and a propensity for wearing extremely short skirts, whom I first discovered via late-night channel surfing in the mid-1990s. So, as you might imagine, the novelty of her starring in a slasher is the main reason I enjoy Splatter University. But not the only reason! The blood flows freely throughout, there are some genuine moments of suspense, and the film's climax is shocking and brutal. Tune in for Forbes, then stick around for the carnage.

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